SINGLE mum Claire Dee, 41, from Swansea, hasn’t been on a date since her month-long marriage resulted in 2020.
The rationale? The singer is ready for Mr Good, she tells Claire Dunwell.
Claire has matched with greater than 1,000 males over the previous three years – however has but to search out anybody who ticks all her containersCredit score: Athena Image Company
THEY say that one in 4 relationships begins on-line and each night I sit on my couch and begin my two-hour on-line scroll.
Loads Of Fish, Tinder and Fb Courting — I scour all of them.
I’ve matched with greater than 1,000 males over the previous three years however I’m but to search out anybody who ticks all my containers.
That’s as a result of I’ve an extended listing of wants and I refuse to accept something much less in my quest to search out The One.
I need somebody who will sweep me off my ft, love me unconditionally, all the time be a gentleman and pay for my drinks.
Is that basically a lot to ask?
I’m decided the following individual I sleep with would be the last one.
I’m searching for a hoop on my finger from a person with drive and ambition who desires to take care of me in each approach he can.
Bodily I like a dad bod, I’m pretty chunky myself so it really works higher.
However they have to be over 6ft as a result of at 5ft 8ins, I’m tall too. And, I don’t like bald males.
Whereas it fits a person with muscle tissue, it appears boring on the remaining.
I like a manly man, and if a man doesn’t like uncommon steak and scorching curries, then he’s most likely too wimpy for me.
Conversely he can’t be into nights out with the lads or, even, worse, lads holidays — I have to be their precedence.
I’ve all the time had very excessive requirements.
My first severe boyfriend was James (title modified) after I was 18. We met on an evening out and on our first date he picked me up in a taxi, wined and dined me. I felt like a princess.
I adored him and thought I’d already discovered the person for me.
Solely I had niggling doubts that he wasn’t as romantic as he appeared.
‘He wasn’t making the trouble’
It felt typically that he was going by the motions and attempting to please me somewhat than actually which means it.
I cut up up with him a number of instances to check him. I needed to know if he was as in love with me as he stated — I wanted proof.
Claire has many guidelines in terms of courting – and he or she desires to be handled like a queenCredit score: Equipped
Claire with certainly one of her exes the place issues ended up not figuring outCredit score: Equipped
And, he’d woo me again with poetry and flowers, which I beloved.
After 18 months we received engaged. It was New Yr’s Eve and I used to be performing.
As I counted right down to midnight he received on the stage and proposed. I stated sure, and felt overwhelmed by his romance.
However I quickly determined he wanted one other check and I cut up with him once more.
After the grand proposal I felt he was taking me as a right and wasn’t making as a lot effort.
He’d warned me he wouldn’t put up with it once more and he didn’t. I used to be heartbroken.
I used to be immature and it was a ridiculous solution to behave however I imagine in having one real love and if he’d been it we’d nonetheless be collectively now.
After James I dated a number of males, together with an expert footballer. It was enjoyable whereas it lasted – which was solely a few months.
He was good on the grand gestures in public, like ordering the costliest champagne, however in personal it was TV and pizza.
The ultimate straw got here after we went to Paris and he didn’t maintain my hand crossing the street.
It sounds trivial, however I need a gentleman who’ll open the doorways and carry my baggage with out asking.
Subsequent up was Dave (title modified). By then I used to be 24.
We dated on and off for 4 years however he was flawed too. He was a mummy’s boy — he even went on vacation along with her as an alternative of me — and he’d run again to her every time we had a row.
Finally, I instructed him if he did it once more we had been by. He did, so I completed it.
Mummy’s boys usually are not acceptable – they’re wimps.
In fact, you ought to like your mum, however your relationship with a companion ought to develop into your precedence.
After that I dated casually, none of them lasting past two months.
It was throughout this time that I realised that, just like the one in 4 Brits not too long ago surveyed by single guardian courting app Even, I didn’t wish to date a person who had kids.
Nor did I wish to be among the many one in ten who stated they might really feel much less of a precedence if a companion had youngsters already.
I attempted it as soon as after I was 31 and since he didn’t have set instances to see his youngsters, he would change our plans to slot in with them.
I acknowledge that I’d be the identical — I’m divorced and a single mum and my three-year-old daughter will all the time come first.
However certainly one of us like that in a relationship is sufficient.
I additionally had one date with a widower who I met on Loads Of Fish — that ended the second he confirmed me footage of his late spouse.
She even appeared like me, proof that he was clearly nonetheless in love along with her.
I wish to be somebody’s “one” and I don’t really feel I might be if they’re widowed.
Divorced males are additionally out. Many are cautious of ladies and dedication and if they really beloved their ex they are usually bitter.
In the event that they didn’t, they shouldn’t have gotten married within the first place, which implies they’re the kind to settle.
I’m searching for marriage — girls who’ve intercourse with males and not using a dedication are making a rod for all our backs.
One man who took me out for dinner referred to as it a “waste of time” as a result of I refused to return to his place afterwards.
I felt so offended that he made me really feel l owed him. It was almost ten years earlier than I received a message on Fb from Adam (title modified), my now ex-husband.
I used to be 37 by then and I’d dated him briefly on certainly one of my breaks from Dave.
We began chatting and he instructed me that he’d considered me continually since we’d damaged up. I used to be swept off my ft.
‘A person needs to be nicely off’
He was rich — to be with me, a person needs to be nicely off as I just like the finer issues in life — and we went on fantastic dates.
He’d take me to 5 star accommodations in London and to the theatre.
I’d by no means exit with a person who expects me to pay.
Adam hadn’t been married or had youngsters earlier than, however he needed each — containers I wanted ticked for me to contemplate a relationship.
He proposed with an costly ring in November 2019 and we began attempting for a child.
I used to be a number of weeks pregnant with my daughter after we married in Scotland.
However just a bit time later he broke the devastating information that he didn’t assume he needed to be a father in spite of everything.
I haven’t seen him since.
For some time I misplaced hope that I’d ever discover the person for me but when something, my divorce made me extra decided to not compromise.
My mum Jane (title modified), 65, tells me I’m too fussy. However she has what I need.
A part of my want to search out my soulmate is witnessing my mother and father’ fantastic marriage.
They met at a disco when my mum was 14 and my dad was 16. Fifty years on they’re nonetheless besotted.
They end one another’s sentences and nonetheless go away for romantic weekends.
My mates inform me I ought to settle, that I’m 41 and don’t have the identical pulling energy I as soon as did.
I disagree, and whereas my search goes on I’ll keep on refusing to be that lady who places up with second greatest.
That’s merely unthinkable.
WHAT CLAIRE INSISTS ON
- A single man with no kids who has by no means been married.
- Dad bod and with hair.
- At the very least 6ft.
- A person who likes uncommon steaks and scorching curries.
- A person who’s completely happy to attend earlier than intercourse.
- An old school sort who’ll carry the luggage and pay for dinner.