This lady is in turmoil after discovering her boyfriend in mattress with one other man (Image: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
This week, we hear from a girl who’s questioning whether or not she’s ever actually recognized her boyfriend, after discovering him in mattress with a male good friend.
Regardless of her listening to ‘intercourse noises’ earlier than getting into the room, her different half says he’s not homosexual. Does it matter? Is the belief damaged regardless?
Earlier than you go, try final week’s dilemma, the place a girl employed a non-public detective to spy on her dishonest husband…
I not too long ago found that my live-in boyfriend of three years has a secret homosexual facet, once I caught him in mattress with one other man.
Ever since I’ve recognized him, one explicit good friend has hung round with us. This good friend by no means appears to have a girl in his life and regardless that I’ve tried to repair him up, it by no means ends properly. He has all the time appeared comfortable being the third wheel, and I’ve grown used to having him round.
He stays over at our place frequently, particularly once I’m not there. However final weekend, the good friend I used to be due to stick with felt in poor health, and I ended up coming dwelling. I attempted to name my boyfriend to inform him what had occurred, however he didn’t reply his cellphone.
To my horror, I got here dwelling to the sound of ‘intercourse noises’ coming from our bed room. I flew up the steps and threw open the door, anticipating to seek out my boyfriend with one other lady. As an alternative, I discovered him and his mate in mattress collectively.
They had been mortified and my boyfriend tried to inform me it was a drunken one off. I battle to simply accept that as I understand how shut they’ve been for years, however he’s determined for me to imagine him and forgive this ‘one’ mad second. He has sworn to me that he isn’t actually homosexual.
I don’t wish to throw all the things away by kicking him out, however on the similar time I’m freaked out by the concept that he isn’t who I believed he was.
As your instincts are telling you, that is unlikely to have been a one off. In case your boyfriend has homosexual emotions, then irrespective of how a lot he says he has by no means performed it earlier than, or guarantees to not do it once more, it’s most unlikely that he’ll be capable to forgo homosexual affairs for the remainder of his life. When you’ve got been comfortable collectively till now, he’s nearly actually bi-sexual.
Don’t blame your self or see it as a mirrored image in your desirability. In case your boyfriend has the potential to take pleasure in intercourse with each women and men, that’s a part of his nature which he’s powerless to vary. However be cautious of any concept that you simply may share him; assuming you wouldn’t share him with one other lady, don’t conform to share him with a man.
In the event you don’t imagine his excuses, a cut up could also be one of the best ways ahead.
This has been a shock, however you’ve loved a great relationship till now and the issues that first attracted you’re nonetheless a part of the particular person your boyfriend is. Break ups are painful however hold the strains of communication open. While you ultimately come to phrases with what’s occurred, you may discover your lover might change into considered one of your closest mates.
Three years is quite a bit to throw away and speaking it over with a counsellor may assist.
Laura Collins is a counsellor and columnist.
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