This man’s girlfriend desires to discover, however he isn’t so certain (Image: Getty Pictures/iStockphoto)
This week, we hear from a person who’s questioning his relationship after his girlfriend urged they struggle swinging.
Though he loves their adventurous intercourse life, he’s not eager on opening up their relationship within the bed room – however his girlfriend ‘received’t let it go’.
Ought to he give group intercourse and companion swapping an opportunity? Or wouldn’t it be higher to finish issues?
Earlier than you go, try final week’s dilemma, the place a girl discovered her boyfriend in mattress with a male buddy…
For the final eighteen months I’ve been seeing a girl I met on-line. We’re each in our thirties so it’s not precisely ‘younger love’ for both of us, but it surely’s the primary time I’ve ever felt so loopy about somebody.
She has at all times appreciated to put on attractive underwear, stockings and excessive heels throughout intercourse, one thing I haven’t skilled with earlier girlfriends, however which I’m fairly turned on by. She has additionally launched me to some pretty excessive intercourse practices (after beginning gently with handcuffs) and I’ve received to the purpose the place I assumed nothing would shock me.
Nevertheless, her newest suggestion is likely to be a step too far. She’s admitted that she was a daily ‘swinger’ earlier than we met, and he or she desires to return to it, solely this time with me. I’ve informed her I’m not eager on sharing her, and don’t notably like the truth that she appears keen to share me, however she simply received’t let it go.
She assures me I’ll like it, and that watching one another have intercourse with another person is an actual activate. I simply can’t get my mind spherical that, although she says I’m being a prude.
We deliberate to marry subsequent yr however now I fear that she received’t need to quiet down in the best way I might. I don’t need to dump her as a result of she’s a improbable woman in each different manner.
Is she proper? Am I simply being a prude?
Firstly, no, you’re not, you might be simply being true to your self.
Secondly, you shouldn’t go forward with a wedding to somebody when you have got doubts of any form, particularly severe ones.
It doesn’t sound like your girlfriend is eager to be a one-man-girl sexually, and there’s a threat that she will probably be simply as intent on swinging as soon as you might be married. Should you aren’t keen to hitch in, then she may go forward with out you, and that would nicely destroy your marriage earlier than it has even received off the bottom.
Please don’t persuade your self that issues will change after you get married. This concern is one thing that must be sorted out now, to keep away from distress sooner or later.
Should you’re certain you received’t change your thoughts, inform her firmly how you’re feeling and make it clear that you simply received’t tolerate her participating on this kind of sexual exercise both.
It seems like you have got a reasonably wild intercourse life already, however that doesn’t really imply you’re being intimate with each other – simply adventurous. It might nicely be that she doesn’t interact deep emotions when having intercourse and that’s one thing chances are you’ll must work on or search counselling for.
Should you can’t resolve your variations, you in all probability must go your separate methods. Different girls you meet will not be as adventurous, but it surely seems like wild intercourse isn’t all you want. A loving companion who’s joyful to have a monogamous relationship, will in all probability make you a lot happier in the long term.
Laura Collins is a counsellor and columnist.
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